Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.