Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
Of course women dont fart. They never shut up long enough to build up pressure
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
No matter where you live, there’s always 1 light switch that doesn’t do anything.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like