Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t exercise ... fat people are harder to kidnap
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Turtles make an awesome jogging buddy.
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
Sometimes one middle finger isn`t enough to let someone know how you feel. That`s why we have two hands.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.