Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
Bad Morning: As I sit on the throne remembering I used all the toilet paper last night for Halloween pranks.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
Me: "Why do all the people I love leave me?!" UPS Guy: "Please Mam, just sign"
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Pro tip: Don`t moan when getting a pat down at airport security
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
That moment when you realize the object of #WeightWatchers is NOT see who can score the most points...
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.