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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I`m five." He said, "When I was your age I was six."
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I told my girlfriend I`m Harry Potter`s Godfather... She laughed hard and said "you can`t be Sirius"
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`