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is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time."
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.