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If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there’s nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.