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Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
Some people should come with subtitles.