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Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I never fail to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors when I pick up the other person and throw them out the window.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman.