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Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
My IQ? ... With google or without?