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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.
Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it`s always collecting dust.
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping