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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
If my job was to make health questionnaires, I`d slip in random stuff like "How fast can you run backwards?"
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
I like how the package for cotton swabs says don`t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.