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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
Thought for the day: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that is where sh!tty ideas come from!
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
If I was a waiter.. I would plant fake engagement rings in every girl`s champagne glass, just to see their boyfriends panic.
I bet strippers look forward to that feeling of getting home and wearing a bra after a long day at work.
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
Next time you ride on a roller coaster, take some spare bolts with you and just as it starts to move, tap the person in front of you and say, "these just fell out of your seat."
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.