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You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
God is creative... I mean look at me??
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Ways to die: Steal my food.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
Every shape I had to learn above octagon was just a total fu*king waste of time.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
What`s with this `running with scissors` bullsh!t? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?