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Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
I`m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.
In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c`mon...even I`ve done THAT!"
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
This company doesn`t know how much of an asset I am.. Or an ass-sit. They really should pay more attention.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.