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I have to be careful what I say online because my kids might find out how cool I am and want to start hanging out with me.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
When sitting directly across from someone also using a laptop, I can`t stop myself from telling them, "you sunk my battleship!"
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.