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I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed ... Again.
My New Year’s resolution is to climb Mount Everest, learn 7 new languages, and stop lying.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
Never squat with your spurs on
“The darndest things.” -kids
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
My IQ? ... With google or without?