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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Last night I meant to tell my kids "Good night, I love you", but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Thursday because this is bulls**t."
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden