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What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
Iām eating for two ā me and that skinny girl inside my body. She likes cake, too.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
keep scrolling I`ve got nothing....
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.