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I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.