Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Iβm starting to think that the gym isnβt really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
Long story short, I love summaries.
Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
Itβs getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
Born free. Now, Iβm expensive.
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, Iβd like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.