Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
*Food hits floor* Little Germs: “Let’s get it!”King Germ: “No, we must wait 5 seconds!”
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Pizza Consumed column.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.