Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I`m checking Facebook and not taking pictures.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
The nice thing about being single is when you`re setting the silverware, it doesn`t matter which side you put the remote on.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!