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Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
Safe words are for quitters.
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.
Bad decisions make good stories.