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Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
The only way a fidgey spinner would relieve my stress is if it was edible ...
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
I`ve come to believe that everyone on Earth could benefit from a 12 step program.
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.