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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
I like how Sesame Street just casually has a vampire hanging around.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
If the government shutdown effected alcohol or internet porn they`d have this sh!t fixed by tomorrow morning.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.