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I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
If you`re a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
Calories: the little creatures that go into your closet every night and hem the waistline of all your clothes inch by inch
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store