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Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"
Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Haters gonna hate, your honor
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?