Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?