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Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
I’m giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
I`m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?