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"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
keeps getting dirty voicemails from unknown numbers. If it`s you.. Send more
This post is just for you.
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
You know you`ve picked the right friends if no one has nominated you for the ice bucket challenge
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
My life is based on a true story
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.