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I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
So what the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Their house paint is peeling.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It`s useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.