Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
That awkward moment when Adele finds someone like me
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.
i dont have drain bramage.