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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
Found out today that you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, NOT a jelly stain. Sorry, strange lady at the Waffle House. Just trying to help...
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
This recliner and I go way back.
I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes kept getting sucked in my nose!
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball