Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
Why don`t the post office get the Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday? Work smarter not harder people.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.