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It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
Reincarnation is my only hope.