Daily Silly Status

I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.

They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.

I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!

I think its nice my vacuum cleaner has head lights. Just in case I wanna wake up in the middle of the night and clean in the dark, or wake up my dog making him think he’s getting hit by a

The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.

Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)

I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.

Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.

Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.

Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind

Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.

I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.

"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York

I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure

I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.