Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think β€œyou dirty bastard”.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
I can catch a speeding bullet- only once.
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.