Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Iβd be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
I just broke my record for most days lived.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Your things are terrific.
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it?
If it doesnβt involve food or sleep, Iβm probably not interested.
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........