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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that sh!t.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
I put the b!tch in the kitchen.~ last thing I remember saying before I woke up in the hospital.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.