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I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
Their bedroom door is closed. I better walk in there for no reason. - kids
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
"I can`t wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver