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Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
Soup of the day: Beer
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears