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What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet