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It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
It must be very hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???