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Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you`ll be dead soon.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.