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There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I can’t wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie. 5% - That was a complete waste of money. 85% - I gotta pee!!
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.