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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
As a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I’m terrified of the electricity bill.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.