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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes...
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
God is creative... I mean look at me??
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
I’m not a comedian. I don’t tell jokes. I just tell the truth in a way it sounds funny.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.