Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
The really cool thing about being a husband is having your mistakes constantly pointed out.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.