Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
One day, I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be with alcohol.
My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Bacon...need I say more
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
I`ve been married twice. The next wife I have will be someone else`s and she can just go home when she`s mad at me.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."