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Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
Don`t be embarrassed by who you are. Unless you`re stupid. Then you`re pretty much screwed.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
The general rule is that you shouldn`t ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)