Daily Silly Status

"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.

I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham

They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.

I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.

If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.

If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o

I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.

I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.

Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?

A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.

My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...

I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.

The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...

Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....

I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time