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A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
I mean, I don`t even call it a hangover anymore. It`s just morning.
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)