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I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
Duct tape can`t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.