Daily Silly Status

To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that

Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.

They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.

Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.

We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.

Now that football season is here, if anyone`s favorite team loses, they can just blame it on Trump.

My internet goes out more than I do.

This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.

No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)

Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.

MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!

Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.

I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?

The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.

You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.