Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
I drink because people talk.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.