Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
Why has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
With all the new car technology you would think someone could invent a side mirror that could show where an object actually appears.
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
I just made my first snow angel!! ... Ok fine.. I got bored, got drunk and then passed out in the snow, whatever!
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.