Daily Silly Status

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever see a fat bird.

Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"

Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.

I`m done chasing people who aren`t willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man can go f*ck himself!!

I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.

I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies

I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.

Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)

Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.

Boyfriend: Why do you watch the Food Network it doesn’t make your cooking any better? Girlfriend: Why do you watch porn?