Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
French people give me the crepes.
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
If you`re able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That’s why most women wear makeup and most men lie.