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Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
How does one get a nice body without moving?
My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
Who did you vote for?? Clinton ? Trump ? Vodka
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
The Best Excuse given by a Lady for Missing Work ! "My husband took an overdose of Viagra.....Couldn`t leave him alone with the Maid"
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.