Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
Sorry I wasnβt ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumpsβ¦ but, Iβm slowly getting over it.
I hate sharing popcorn with someone at the cinema and our fingers touch. Especially if I don`t know them, and they don`t know we`re sharing.
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Apparently some strangers donβt need a hug.
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.