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I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
*Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won’t.