Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
This patience thing takes forever.
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
it`s friday o clock
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
If you`re ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook
You know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.