Daily Silly Status

I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"

Spoiler alert: this milk expired five days ago

You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?

Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.

Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum

How do I tell a man he loves me?

Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.

I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.

Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.

I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......

Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.

Honk if you want to see my finger.

Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.

take it easy and if it is easy take it home

The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.