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If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
I smoked weed once and realized spoons are just little bowls on sticks
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
I’m late for a disappointment.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.